02 / 11 / 2010 - Sore Spot
12 / 23 / 2006 - Road Warriors
11 / 03 / 2005 - Power Politics
07 / 24 / 2005 - Apparently "Coffee" Means "Sex"
04 / 01 / 2004 - Partying is Such Sweet Sorrow... Part 3
12 / 26 / 2003 - Partying is Such Sweet Sorrow... Part 2
04 / 19 / 2003 - Partying is Such Sweet Sorrow... Part 1
02 / 01 / 2003 - Short-tempered
12 / 17 / 2002 - The Life and Times of Bob-Omb
10 / 26 / 2002 - P&Q : The Extent of Servitude
08 / 14 / 2002 - P&Q : Trouble Brewing
08 / 05 / 2002 - P&Q : Good Fences
06 / 17 / 2002 - It's About Time...
05 / 09 / 2002 - P&Q : Revenge
04 / 16 / 2002 - P&Q : Prelude
03 / 25 / 2002 - The Hard Sell
03 / 18 / 2002 - A Gift From the Heart
03 / 04 / 2002 - Cathartic
02 / 25 / 2002 - They're Super!
02 / 18 / 2002 - Aventures de le Swordboys: Le Vol de L'Oignon
02 / 11 / 2002 - Viva le Swordboys
02 / 04 / 2002 - Entre le Swordboys
01 / 14 / 2002 - Newton vs. Organized Society, Part Two
12 / 18 / 2001 - Newton vs. Organized Society, Part One
11 / 30 / 2001 - I Enjoy Killing Generic People
11 / 05 / 2001 - WrestleVania
10 / 29 / 2001 - Righteous Chaps
10 / 22 / 2001 - It's Epilogue-tastic!
10 / 15 / 2001 - Clearing Things Up
10 / 10 / 2001 - A Meticulous Investigation
09 / 24 / 2001 - A Dead Ringer for Newton
09 / 12 / 2001 - He Wasn't Using His Head
08 / 27 / 2001 - Heading Towards Closure
08 / 20 / 2001 - Family Ties
08 / 13 / 2001 - Puny, Yet Punny
07 / 30 / 2001 - The Wonders of Modern Medical Science
07 / 23 / 2001 - A Wily One
07 / 16 / 2001 - Mario's Checkered Past
07 / 09 / 2001 - Only the Best Kind
06 / 11 / 2001 - Party Animals
06 / 04 / 2001 - A Ninja's Lament
05 / 28 / 2001 - Interiors by The Norfair Collection
05 / 21 / 2001 - Another Ridley
05 / 14 / 2001 - Pit's Pet Returns
05 / 07 / 2001 - Pit's Pet
04 / 30 / 2001 - Alcohol-Fueled Revenge
04 / 23 / 2001 - Payday
04 / 20 / 2001 - Not So Quick
04 / 18 / 2001 - Roll with the Punches
04 / 16 / 2001 - On a Roll
04 / 09 / 2001 - The Wizard
04 / 06 / 2001 - Not So Bright
04 / 04 / 2001 - Not Funny
04 / 02 / 2001 - Really Quite Ingenious
03 / 26 / 2001 - All My Ninjas Finale: The Joy of Hex
03 / 19 / 2001 - All My Ninjas: Quintessential Megaman
03 / 12 / 2001 - All My Ninjas: Tetra Mastery
03 / 05 / 2001 - All My Ninjas: In Third Person
02 / 26 / 2001 - All My Ninjas: The Second Coming
02 / 19 / 2001 - All My Ninjas: First Wave
02 / 12 / 2001 - Macstercard
02 / 05 / 2001 - Take That, Nintendo!
01 / 29 / 2001 - This Red's For You
01 / 22 / 2001 - Lucky Night
01 / 15 / 2001 - Faces of Death: The Heartwrenching Finale
01 / 08 / 2001 - Faces of Death: Part Deux
01 / 01 / 2001 - Faces of Death: Part One
12 / 25 / 2000 - Bragging Rights
12 / 18 / 2000 - King of Kings
December 17, 2002
New comic. I wasn't lying about the ninjas before, it's just that they're part of a storyline I have in the works, and I have learned better than to start stories before I figure out how to end them. Helmets! - They'll save your life!
December 13, 2002
Almost done! Plus, I have updated the points page and put up the latest guest art. I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you...
December 3, 2002
Well, that's fucking it. Sometimes it takes a little duress to see these things. I haven't slept in 24 hours and now it's just the caffiene talking. I know you're all tired of seeing no more updates. Fuck, if anyone's still around, I know you're tired of it. I'm fucking tired of it too. I'm tired of doing this school shit, I'm tired of the damn winter, and I'm tired of Pizl & Fucking Questo. As soon as this goddamn project is done, I'm making a fucking bar comic. No more photoshop unless it really sells it, and I don't think I'm even going to write scripts anymore. Some of my best strips were written during the construction process. So look out fuckers, some of this shit's gonna get done. Fish! Watch me strut my stuff!
October 26, 2002
Well, here's a new one. Don't freak out on me, I'm just using up the P&Qs that I already scripted. Like I've said before. I'm putting up the backlog of guest strips onto the guest page, so check that out, too. You must be from Radicola. You may enter.
August 27, 2002
Don't worry, I think I'll have another one up soon. I'll do a few more P&Q strips, but hear this, folks: I've got another storyline brewing for the bar. Oh, so you want a teaser? Here you go - and keep this one at a whisper - it may involve - dare I say it? ...Ninjas. We demand additional lumber!
August 14, 2002
I'm headed off to Pennsic War today. Been busy preparing and such, but here is Monday's comic. 2 days late? Yeah, but that's not bad for me. This is not a full update - when I get back I'll do the points page, trivia, and guest page. In the meantime, don't be a tuna head.
August 5, 2002
How about that? One of them comic-things! I credit my return to the ceaseless prodding of OS fans, an unexpected encounter with Steve Butterhof, the homage paid by Professor H, and a lighthearted (I hope) death threat. Like I've said before, you guys rock. Also, there's 2 new guest strips. I will try my darndest to have something new next monday, as well. So until then: it will be a dangerous journey. Take care of yourself.
July 11, 2002
I still intend to do more strips, maybe that'll cheer you up. In the meantime, Muzzy has served up several new comics, including the latest episodes of Project: Ween.
June 17, 2002
So I was chilling out in the pool of my multimillion dollar estate, when I get a telegram informing me that I do not, in fact, get summers off! So here's this week's comic. I'll be switching back and forth between the bar and Pizl & Questo strips.
May 9, 2002
Sorry about the long wait. Hell, I got nothing to say, I don't even really like this one. I think I'll be able to update more once summer hits. Since Keenspace's seems to have stopped working, I got us a new forum. The link up top should work. I guess that's about it. Going your days, grow up!
April 29, 2002
Yo, the Legend continues. AS for me, I'll have a comic done ASAP. The semester's starting to come to a close, so I have a lot to do, especially with finals coming up. At the worst time too - I was only 500 points away from meeting spooky donkey.
April 17, 2002
Amigo! El Legend continues! Also, Muzzy just sent me a metric slew (read: four) of comics, get 'em here if you're following Project : Ween.
Now it's my turn! Hey, folks. We're going to take a small break from the hijinks and goings-on at the Naughty Damsel. In their stead, I now present for your consideration The Morbid Misadventures of Pizl and Questo. I wrote the scripts for these last year, and I figure they'll run until I've exhausted said scripts, longer or shorter depending on your reaction. The humor is much in the same vein, except with a bend towards the fantasy genre and away from video games. I know this will please some and discourage others (probably more), but I hope you'll see this much the same way as I do, just another series of OldSkooled comics. I uh, think that's about it. *Jumps up, giggles, and flashes a peace sign* Yatta!
April 9, 2002
Not surprisingly, the Legend continues! Also not surprisingly, I'm all out of ideas! I'll come up with something soon, don't worry. In the meantime, here's Project Ween, Episode 6! by everybody's favorite Muzzy Roberto. Gonna take you for a ride ... Gonna take you for a ride ... Gonna take you for a ride ...(ad infinitum)
April 2, 2002
Atchung!! Ya, the Legend continues! Up there you see a comic done John Zarrillo of Land of Greed fame. I did a guest strip for LoG too, by the way. Special thanks to Matt Brown, Peter Grieco, Brian Clevinger (who I'm sure you all know runs the great comic 8-Bit Theater), Ray Wong, LSnow, the ever-batty Count Alucard, Hikari, Crazy 8, and Coert Wigbels, who told me how to use the undo history in Photoshop. Also, this week I got a guest comic from Hank Peterson. The news is getting pertty lengthy again up here... perhaps I should ask my brother to archive it..? In fact, he'll probably read this and go and do it on his own! Howzat!
March 27, 2002
Look out! The Legend continues! More photoshopping in this week's strip. I still don't like photoshop, really. I guess I'm just not as good with it yet, because I can't be as precise as I am with MS paint because it only stores one undo. So, if I don't catch a slight error right away, then to fix it I have to reload from the last time I saved. (Perhaps you've noticed that the thwomp falls slightly diagonally. Wasn't worth reoloading the file.) I guess I got nothing else to say. Here's to wonderful women! Cheerio!
March 18, 2002
First off, sorry 'bout the late update. I blame my new Dreamcast and Marvel vs. Capcom 2. Next: guess what? That's right! The legend continues! I've also got new guest art from FrostDemn, who finishes up his 'Wrath of the Pointer' series. Well, that about does it for me. We await your return, warrior.
March 11, 2002
Up there is a strip of Muzzy's because I'm takin' this week off. Next week is my spring break, though, so you better believe I'll have something for ya. But you kids have probably noticed by now that OldSkooled is no longer just a hub for my updates. Sir Crono and Muzzy Roberto also send me submissions regularly, and at least weekly. So be sure to check out the latest installment of Project Ween on "Muzzy's page, and always remember that the Legend of Kwai Chang Thomas continues. I'll make buttons or something eventually for those two pages. I'll soon rule your precious earth, battlejerks!
March 4, 2002
First: the legend continues! Hope you're all doin' A-ok out there in internet land. I always get to thinking, 'hey, I really should try to write some lyrics or practice playing so that ShyGuys Revenge can become a reality.' So I break out the old accordian and start playing and soon realize that a.)the accordian is in need of repair and b.)I really, really suck. Here, in fact, is a clip. (Sorry, it's an uncompressed WAV.) I can also play the underwater theme from SMB and the melody part from the Metroid theme, sort of. Well, not really. Or rather, really, but not well. Soak up the zen: 'If existence is truly a nightmare, then one can only hope they are dreaming.'
February 25, 2002
I used photoshop for this comic, I suppose that's a milestone of sorts. I've updated the points page, finally, after 2 weeks of negligence. Boy howdy, the guest strips have been just pouring in. There's some familiar names among the authors, too: Caspian X, who still makes Mognet, by the way, gave me this comic. FrostDemn gave me 2 strips, which are here and here. Muzzy's latest is right here, and here's another from Yutz. Also, here's a doctored screenshot from Tommy Moo. Sir Crono has said he'll be doing a series of Kung Fu comics, come and get 'em here. There's 2 new topics on the forum and more are always welcome, so I encourage all you folks to stop on by the forum and hop into the pool. Thumbs up, soldier!
February 18, 2002
Through my suspiciously high-powered telescope, I can see a few of you staring blankly, shaking your heads, or rubbing your eyes in disbelief. 'What's this? Another update that's on time?' It's crazy, but true. Hotmail is not working, and I can't update the points page until Hotmail's back up. Keenspace has apparently moved its forums, and now mine can be found here. I'll change my link on the nav bar if I can figure it out. Also, there's some new good shit in the guest strips section, be sure to check out the strips from Zaphire and our ol' buddy Duncan Cross, plus the latest episode of Muzzy's Project: Ween. They're all right here. You get 4 humor points!
February 11, 2002
Two weeks in a row? Yes, it's true. Ironically enough this is partially because Scott has temporarily lost his Internet connection and doesn't have anything else to do but his comic, and play Ogre Battle apparently. So this is Dave doing the update this week. Now showing is Part Two of the Sword Boys Trilogy. Bonus points will be delayed so you still have a week to e-mail your responses to Scott. Until next Internet lapse!
February 6, 2002 - Mini-Update
Hey! The cast page has a spiffy new megaman-esque character thingy; look at it, it's cool. Also, Muzzy's got two new strips on the guest page.
February 4, 2002
New comicage. I recommend you check next Monday as well, there is a decent chance the comic'll be up on time. Muzzy's Project : Ween continues as well, I suggest you get clicking. Stick around, folks: you can expect to see a couple of changes and new things around here popping up over the next few weeks. For example, I cleaned up the dead links on the links page! Merry X'Mas, Mr. President.
January 23, 2002
Check out Muzzy's guest strip while I work on my own.
January 14, 2002
January 7, 2002
Sorry it's taking so long. This is the longest I've ever had a script waiting to be comicked, but fittingly enough I've also never been this busy. I started the strip last night, it should be done soon. In the meantime, there's two new guest strips for you to read.
December 18, 2001
Today is OldSkooled's birthday (clarification: this is the birthday of the website. OldSkooled's first comic hit the web May 12, 2000). 365 days ago this site launched on Keenspace with the comic "King of Kings." If there's anyone who's been a reader since December 2000, drop me a line, that'd be just swell. I figured I'd celebrate by actually updating. Also, I think by next Monday I'll have part 2, it's already scripted. Will Newton be able to avoid The Man taking away his right to intoxicate people? Tune in, folks. I know the suspense is killing you. It's killing me, for sure! Speaking of killing me, check out Muzzy Roberto's slew of high-quality guest strips.
December 12, 2001
Hey, check out the new guest strips while I work on this week's comic and think of a new trivia.
November 30, 2001
New comic, finally. I've been pretty busy lately, but ya gotta keep on truckin,' right? Ah well... You're gonna carry that weight.
November 21, 2001
Contest is over, results are up. Go to the guest strips page. Points page is up to code, too. There will be a new comic soon. It's scripted but I still have to make it. I'm tired... Game over.
November 12, 2001
Hey, folks. I was a-campin' this weekend, so I didn't spend any time in front of the Box compiling a comic. First free night I get, I'll put the results of the contest up, and next night after that I'll do a new OldSkooled. My work's getting the best of me, so it's time to givel it the ol' college try: drink some cheap beer, order a pizza, and forget about tomorrow.
November 7, 2001
'Nother game that never made it! This'll be the last one, I swear. The idea for this one was passed along to me by Muzzy of points page fame. Sure, my comic was late this week. But, it is over now, wrong has been set right!!
November 6, 2001
Mini-update. Sorry kids, the shit's really hitting the fan here. I gotta really buckle down if I want to earn a passing grade here at college, so once that's under control the comic can proceed smoothly. The contest will go on another week. Come on guys! Send in submissions! No bitmaps, though. When my hotmail goes over in size, they delete my inbox. This happened over the weekend so I lost a couple of professors' emails and other important stuff. Bad. I'll put up one of my own games that never made it in a day or two. Me fail Expository Writing 101? That's unpossible!
October 29, 2001
Submission contest time! Here we have my 'Game that Never Made It,'
Righteous Chaps. I wager you can figure out what it's a parody of. Make a screenshot or two from your own 'game that never made it' and send it to me. Don't send anything from a ROM hack, I've seen 'em all and 'Toilet Mario' is only so funny, anyway. I'll decide how many points the creator of the best one recieves once I get an idea of the scope of competition. Hey! Read this guest comic by Yutz! I want to redo some of the other pages on this site, but I've been really busy lately, ah well. So it goes.
October 22, 2001
5 months, 18 strips, with no recaps. How 'bout that? If you want to go to where this arduous storyline started, trek on back to Pit's Pet. Is the 5th panel of this week's comic not one of the wackier things you've ever seen? Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is probably rolling in his grave. I guess at this point I'm just movin' on to something different. So you guys don't know what to expect next week! Haha. Y'know, the next time you come in here I'm gonna toast ya.
October 15, 2001
Poor Newton. You can see that the series is coming to a close. I did this one during an all-nighter of homework/comic fun, so I blame general lameness on lack of sleep. There's still some entries floating in, so the trivia question will go on for a couple more days. I think there will be some changes to the site soon, maybe to the cast page. Yep. I am the world's first doplhin pilot.
October 11, 2001
Here's another one. I've been busier than ever lately, but I hope to up the rate of comic output. You don't believe me, you say? I know when I am not wanted. Sob.
September 24, 2001
Better late than never, I suppose. I plan having a comic next Monday, though. Yeah, it might not be there. But don't count me out yet - I'm bad!
September 19, 2001
NEWS FLASH! Life sucks! More as the story develops! I'll be honest. I do have the idea, but I still have to script and make a comic. I suggest that you come by on Monday, because there's a significant chance that it'll be done. Much like you may be looking forward to a new comic, I am looking forward to the free time I will get to make it. And if there's no comic, maybe I just killed myself. The warlock will surely triumph now.
September 12, 2001
New comic, ladies and gents. For those of you that waited patiently though the latest dry spell, I thank you so much. I have adjusted to living in my dorm, but my computer has not. I think I've got it all in check now, but there was some general CPU and some specific FTP problems preventing me from updating my page, as well as some time I needed to take as a break, and some writer's block to overcome. I heartily suggest you read this guest comic by Mike Mariano. Tackle the trivia, as well, if you feel so inclined. I'll teach you a lesson. You will fall down!
September 3, 2001
Hey, folks. This week's comic is going to be a little late again. I gotta fit into this new college groove, ya know? The 'mofo' trivia is over and your new points are on the points page. There's a little transition work being done here, so give me a few more days and you'll see new comic and new trivia. And the best part is: this week, you get the comic for half the price!
August 30, 2001
Here ya go. Boy, can you even imagine the bloody spectacle that I decided not to display? I guess that's what you get when you have a sword that explodes people. Dave tells me this post does not call for a Nintendo quote.
August 27, 2001
Hey, you guys are used to me doing this by now, right? Today's 8-bit hilarity is brought to you by Duncan Cross. I'll finish up the next episode of OldSkooled and put it up as soon as it's done. It's been hectic around here since I'm getting ready for college. Because I'm sure you're all just dying to know, I'm going to Rutgers College in New Brunswick and dorming in the Mattia building. Semper Fi or die!
August 20, 2001
It's another one of those late-night updates, so I don't have much for ya. Body blow! Body blow! Body blow!
August 13, 2001
Whoo!! Thought I'd disappeared again, didn't ya? Well, no such luck. A few points of order: a few of you have given me guest strips, and I will put them up soon. Here's my problem, you see: my guest page is currently written in swoopy HTML with tables and thumbnails and such, and I don't feel like mucking around in it - my HTML skills are very poor. My bro the webguy is out for the week, so I am tempted to write a very simple page to just get the strips up, because I appreciate the effort that you guys put into them. Here's a kickass submission by e, who runs the comic Five: A Terrible Thing. My links page is also a work in progress. I've been adding new sprite comics to it as people tell me about them, and adding to my list of other comics as I remember comics that I forgot to put up. Goodbye now, folks. Take care and tempt not the fates!
August 5, 2001
I was greatly surprised by this revelation, but countless hours of analyzing have made it clear to me that profits remain 100 percent undamaged when I fail to update by Monday morning. There are many possible theories regarding this phenomenon, but I think it safest to assume that my unflaggingly optimistic readers view these holdups not as a failure to update on time, but as a thougtful way of shortening the waiting period between this week's and next week's Oldskooled. The new comic should be up by tonight. Thanks for stopping by, I hope you have a relatively badger-free day. (Except, of course, for you badger-lovers out there, I hope you have a delightfully badger-filled day.)
July 30, 2001
It's just one of those nights, folks... Sometimes I just don't know anymore. Was it a rat I saw? Was it a cat I saw? Beats the hell outta me.
July 23, 2001
My last news post gave me the idea for this one. You may be wondering what the hell that ugly thing Samus talks to is. That's the Nurse from Faxanadu, which is easily the ugliest game world ever. I'm not saying it had bad graphics, the things and people were just ugly. I mean, just look at it! What the hell were they thinking? Are they arms? Or feet!? And what's with the eyes?! Anywho, new trivia, and updated links page. As my policy states, I cannot get involved in the event anything should happen to you.
July 16, 2001
Okay, we all know that Mario was a Doctor. The real question always was, "What kind of doctor was he, really? And where did he get his training?" I guess we'll never know, because the good doctor never seemed to ever actually help anybody. Probably too many malpractice suits. Oh, here 's a funny guest strip by CaspianX, who writes a pretty funny comic over at Mognet. Ouch! What do you do?
July 9, 2001
Okay, things should be smooth sailing from here. Check out the contest results! I just got a job, but that shouldn't keep me from doing comics. I started walking again today, whee. One more thing: In revenge for tearing my ACL, I've taken Annie hostage. Come to my hideout if you want to help her.
July 6, 2001
Yeah, yeah. I'm a slacker. The knee surgery went well enough, I suppose. It was a procedure to repair a torn anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), but during the operation it was discovered that I had done more damage to the miniscus that everyone previously thought, so the recovery will take somewhat longer. But that's enough about me.
You will all (and by 'all' I mean the 8 people that might still be sticking around after my latest 'hiatus') be treated to a brand new OldSkooled on Monday. In the meantime, I'm putting up my favorite 3 guest comics tonight, Saturday, and Sunday. (Remember that contest? Oish.) On a side note, those 3 strips' creators will recieve 2000 points, and the other finalists get 1000 points. And because I'm a nice guy, everyone that has sent me a guest strip in the past will get 1000 points, too. Hell, I think I'll make it a new rule: if you send me a guest comic that I think is fit to post, it'll net you 1000. (The moral here? I like guest strips.) On a side side note, there's a new trivia question. I'll be taking answers from today, the 6th, until next next Monday, the 16th. So check out the trivia box! Oh, and don't worry about your points yet. I'm updating the points page when I update the guest page. Have patience, my children. That will be 350 golds - thank you for shopping.
June 18, 2001
No comic for now. I'm getting knee surgery this week, and I'll be a bit doped up afterwards, but I'll do a comic as soon as possible. If it's any consolation to you, there's a slight chance (as there always is with full anasthesia) that I die. So a little delay on updates isn't the most terrible consequence at hand here. I'll talk to ya later this week to let you know how things went.
June 11, 2001
Poor Mother Brain. As smart as Ms. Brain may be, she sure doesn't put up much of a fight. Especially for a last boss. I'm not saying it's easy to kill her, but she doesn't personally make it hard on ya. Another note: I'm not implying that Kraid and Ridley are brothers. Kraid just says 'bro.'
Entries are still floating in, and I'm still in the process of making the image of a suggested comic, so guest comic trivia week is extended until next Monday. I'll post all entries in the guest art section, and the best one will be worth 2000 points. I'm outta here, but this one goes out to all the ladies in their cars.
June 4, 2001
Sorry, folks! Not much for ya this week. This was prom weekend, and right now I'm tired as hell, so that's how it's gonna be. I'll return you to the hijinks in the now-remodeled Naughty Damsel next week, maybe even before then.
May 28, 2001
Ever work really hard on trying to create something new, then end up completely dissatisfied with your end product anyway? Of course, when you do your updates close to 4 A.M., you don't often have the option of perfection. I've been interviewed over at fictionislying.com, so check it out. Now I'd best get to sleep before the morning sun comes to vanquish the horrible, horrible night...
May 21, 2001
Oldskooled: Fresh new address, same great taste. If it's not clear, Ridley is saying "'eyyyyyy" like the Fonz says "'eyy." You know, the long A sound.
The layout is just a little different. Check the Trivia Box on the right to read this week's question. Plus, I updated the cast page. Special thanks to my brother Dave who helped me move (and wrote a damn fine archiving script), and to Disflux for hosting us. Join the Nintendo Fan Club today! Maybe I will, Doc... Maybe I will...
May 14, 2001
NEWS FLASH! On next Monday, when you're eagerly awaiting to read my latest masterpiece, you'll find it at my new site: oldskooled.disflux.net. Don't bother going there now, I still have to move the files. But on Monday, oh boy! Keenspace has been good to me, but it's time to bid adieu.
Head-exploding goodness in today's strip, hope you like it. Hell, I like it. Trivia time! A man wearing brown reccommends you buy garlic for what reason? Quote him(He's very articulate)! 500 points, boys and girls! Points are done. And there's The Panda, as always. Here's a quandry: how the hell do metroids fly, anyway?
May 7, 2001
Good news, gang. New comic, news, and trivia on this Monday morn. So Oldskooled is back on track! Thanks for sticking in there with me through the rough spots.
This week's comic marks the start of a little story arc. A good time will be had by all and besides, Mr. Bubbles is awfully cute. Squee!!! And what's this??? I have been given more guest strips. Read on! Trivia time: Where's The General from? I know he's kind of vestigal just sitting there between Pit and Newton, but he's so serious-looking I felt the need to add him to the strip. 500 points if you can name the game. Click on The Panda if you want to, but it seems like things are a little out of whack up there at panda central...
April 26, 2001
I know the updates have been alittle out of sync this week, but it's not my fault, honest! You see, I was trapped in a rather large state called "Colorado," where the itinerary went something like this: Skiing - all day. Update webpage - fat chance. All the comics went up on the right day, though, (some a few hours late) so you can find those in the archive. I won't be in my home state next Monday, either, but I already uploaded the comic.
Curious about the current situation with the Trivia? Here's the scoop: phallic background question is done with. Points page is updated, current with week 7 results. New question is being posted now, it will be answerable until I get back and update, which should be about Tuesday. This week's trivia, for 1000 points: Panel 5 in an oldie, This Red's For You, features an interesting background. Where'd I get it from? E-mail me with the correct answer, and get a free additional helping of great justice!
April 16, 2001
A week of work later, and I'm much refreshed, thank you. I have good news for all you ladies and gents out there in Webland: three strips for ya this week, starring Roll, of housekeeping robot fame. If you like inside jokes, read the alternate ending to today's strip. General plot this week courtesy of Muzzy Roberto of powerpad trivia fame. Gay jokes courtesy of me (this is the last one, I swear). Couple of new things on the nav bar up top courtesy of Dave, the webguy. Madcap hiyo-based hilarity courtesy of Lucky Bob over at the Land of Greed. Oh boy, just look at all that courtesy.
This week's trivia isn't too tough. See the background with the phallic-shaped objects in panel two? 500 points if you can tell me where it's from. I'm curious to see who actually reads the forum (besides my friends, who get a kick out of using it to mock me), so I'm holding a little informal poll, check it out. Click on The Panda, it will bring you love and happiness!! Sure I'm tired, but do I have time to take a nap before the fight?
April 9, 2001
I am stretched far too thin right now. I'd like to keep up the M-W-F schedule, but that's not gonna happen until I straighten some stuff out with school. So this week's comic is all you'll see till next Monday, but it's more of the old flavor. Ever seen the movie "The Wizard?" It's entertainment is really only in camp value, plus the two quotes in this week's strip. Tough trivia question this week: What is Chief Coralcola's middle name? 1000 points to the ladies and gents who know the answer. Oh, and I've got a forum. I'll say it a million times: don't discuss the trivia question in the forum. It would just cheapen the whole process. If you hate my guts for going weekly again, then click The Panda. This all wasn't supposed to happen anyway, because the world shoulda blown up in October, '97.
April 2, 2001
Anyway, this week is Megaman week! There will be three comics this week, starring the Blue Bomber himself. They're shorter and less elaborate than my usual weeklies, but that's the tradeoff. Let me know what you think of this schedule, or if these short comics just suck. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday will feature a new comic.
All the ladies tell me that they love the trivia!!! Well, I wish they did, but here's this week's 500-point question: What is the name of the newspaper that announces Dr. Wily's incarceration? As usual, look at the points page for the points, and the questions page for the answer to last week's. Clicking the Panda brings good luck. Well, it ought to. But it will bring me good luck, so at least give it a shot! I might get a forum soon. Do you guys like the sound of that?
March 26, 2001
And what did I learn from this long, drawn-out series? I learned that I hate long, drawn-out series. It's hard to move a story along and make jokes sometimes, and it's not unusual to see authors sacrifice one for the other. Plus, I was locked in a particular direction for a month and a half. Simply put, the TV's gone, Chubby's gone, and they both shouldn't be back for a little bit. I hope you liked the storyline.
Check it: new guest art! And a little story regarding the guest strip - I'd never played NARC before, and when I got this strip, I downloaded it and played it. And laughed. And laughed. And continued to laugh, every time I exploded a drug dealer into tiny, bloody little bits. This is truly a disturbing game, and I heartily reccommend playing it and laughing a lot. For 1000 points, this week's question: Where did I get the background of the interior of Chubby's secret fortress from? And I mean the inside. Because we all know that the outside is from Contra. But I added those little hearts myself, just so you know. If you want to make me a happy guy, click the Panda and help validate my existence. When asked, "My barber didn't know when to quit, do you?" I knew the answer: right now, because I'm very, very tired.
March 19, 2001
Loads of comic fun today, I can assure you that!! Why isn't Megaman sitting in a chair, you may ask? Because they're so damn big! Why are they so damn big, you may ask? ... Correction. You may not ask that. Now, I wouldn't normally consider myself a particularly vulgar person... But I guess Chubby Cherub just brings out the worst in me... If you were offended by any of his language, just remember: he's naked, and he's badass. So you'll have to take it up with him, not lil' ol' me. For 500 points, this week's trivia question: how did I get that pic of Megaman looking up? And no, I did not doctor it (except for the color). If you know, email me the answer. I enjoyed reading the responses and responding in kind, but it was a lot to reply to, so I probably won't be individually congratulating each answer this time. You'll just have to check the points page. And here's some more bonus point craziness: a while back, I purchased a PowerPad at a new-to-you shop. I don't exactly have a working NES deck, so I bought it for decoration purposes. Now, back to the craziness. The individual that can think of the most creative use for the PowerPad now in my possession gets 2000 points! Mind you, I am not above wearing it as a garment (although not as an undergarment, for it is very plasticky, and probably not warm). Wanna get your groove on? Make love to the panda.
As you may (not?) have noticed, the layout has been slightly edited for more expedient loading, and should be less crappy-looking on Netscape. I stress less crappiness because Netscape tends to 'secrete' a smidgen of added craptacularity to any page. (I sincerely apologize to the 14 percent of readers who use Netscape, their lives are surely hard enough already.) If anyone is still having problems viewing the page or has any other comments, complaints, or marriage proposals, email the web guy, who I'm sure would love to hear from you. Thanks for reading, but our princess is in another castle!
March 12, 2001
If I was Strider Hiryu, and I had magnet boots, I would probably spend all my time on the ceiling, too. When I promised bonus points last week, I didn't really expect a response. But here we are, and here's your points Congratulation! This is the kind of thing I really like, so I'm making it a weekly feature. For your personal info, the snowplow is from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game. More bonus points if you know what they call the kind of sword a Strider uses. If you're a bad enough dude to save the president, then prove it by clicking the panda. It's so late, I feel asleep while writing the news!
March 5, 2001
New comic. What the hell is a snowplow doing in the Cayman Islands, anyway? And what the hell kind of name for ice cream is HagodDA? Is it like Haagen Dasz? (sp?) Bonus points if you can figure out where I got that snowplow from. On a side note, my original script has "SPLORK" written in blood in the fifth panel. Perhaps this has given you a glimpse at the rigorous editing process my comics are passed through before their final online publication. On a much more interesting side note, the Neo-Reaper made a guest comic. It's in the guest section, and better than mine, so be sure to give it a look-see. Starting out in the world of online comics is Threeboy, who made me a slick link button, check out his site. Strike a blow for the halcyon days of gaming by clicking the panda. Man, I do these updates late. What a terrible night to have a curse...
February 26, 2001
Wow, a lot has happened in the past week. First, the comic. I always pictured Pit as having a similar disposition as PvP's Francis, albeit much more pathetic. Gaaaaaaayyyyyy.... Don't you just love the line "radiant mop of elegance?" And if you haven't noticed, there's some themes that were accidentally installed into the current series(due in part to my limited vocabulary.) Most prevalent is the term 'bastard', which Samus astutely points out has been used many times. And I meant it EVERY TIME. Second, of course, is 'teehee.' The third theme, which is lingering in many of my strips, is that I dated them wrong (look in the bottom right corner). No, folks, I didn't do these strips over a 2-year period, I'm just a colossal idiot. (Not to be confused with Colussus, who appears to be made of some sort of metal and is rather cool.) My humble site is now appearing in random places about the net, and is linked to in articles at Blaze Legacy and X-Entertainment. Recently I've seen in my logs that readership has exploded, and that pleases me mightily. Thanks to all who stopped by or have been doing so weekly, I deem you all very Old School. If you feel so inclined, vote for me on PigPanda. You know you want to, because "pig" and "panda" are naturally incongruous and thus very, very, appealing. Cha-ching! All your votes are belong to me. For great justice!!
February 19, 2001
Here we have the start of a brand new series. Now that the bartender is in the iron mental grasp of daytime television, what will happen to the rest of the patrons at the Naughty Damsel? Will anyone else fall victim to the deadly soap opera? Will I ever get to do those bonus sections? The suspense is should be killing you by now, so be sure to come back on Monday to see for yourself! As I was scripting this comic, it occurred to me that the Ninja Gaiden series has a frightfully low number of female cast members. So we're just going to have to say that Ashtar's a girl and get on with it. (Hey, there's no proof otherwise, right?)
February 12, 2001
If you ask me, Little Mac really is the greatest hero of all. No one in their right mind would ever want to fight Super Macho Man, let alone a 17-year old, 107 pound white guy with a bad haircut. (Although, I admit, the haircut doesn't have much to do with anything.) Sorry everybody, I had planned to update more (ie., the cast section and another bonus) but Sunday passed too damn fast and I have nothing to say for myself except "my links aren't even old-school enough," which I also admit doesn't have much to do with anything, but should make some people laugh. (At my expense, as usual.) I also added a couple of new links.
February 5, 2001
As you can see from today's comic, I have nothing but grim predictions for the GameCube. Ah, if only Nintendo were still the infalliable giant that it was in the late 80's... But I'm becoming nostalgic. (Of course, I wouldn't have to, if Nintendo KNEW WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE DOING!!) If you like oxymorons like old news, then go to this section in the archives to read up on what you already know.
January 29, 2001
When I hear "Superbowl," I think of commercials. This week's comic parodies one of last year's million-dollar advertising gems. Drink up and enjoy. I have a guest strip in the bonus section from Johnny Z now, give it a visit. See those spiffy shaded-in graphics? Thanks to web guy Dave Schrader for their creation.
January 22, 2001
Blah blah blah new comic. Blah blah blah (fill in later need context). Blah blah blah ever play FF5e?
January 15, 2001
Hey-hey! Here's the heartwrenching finale to the "Faces of Death" trilogy. Don't you just feel sorry for the little guy? He's defintely a ripoff of Goats' Jerrel, so don't give me too much credit. Go to the bonus section and take a look at what I will put up there in the near-to-far future.
January 8, 2001
Apparently today is "Moose Day" in comic land, and several comic authors are going to sneak a moose into their strips. I learned this in an e-group that I got out of because it consisted of some 20 emails per day, and I still have yet to see one of these giant mammals in a strip, but hey, If you can find the moose in my strip then you're pretty damn old school. Will next Monday be episode 3 of this incredible saga? Who knows? Not me!
January 1, 2001
New comic with senseless violence. Are you not entertained?! Part 2 next week, folks, so stay sharp! Want to get to know the characters? Read the cast page and let your curiousities be satisfied.
December 25, 2000
First things first: Merry Christmas to all, and enjoy whatever gaming the season brings you. Kudos to my brother Dave for cracking the code and getting frames up on KeenSpace. My links are up, so take a look. Next on the agenda is, of course, the comic. This week's strip introduces three more of the regular characters, not that they needed much introduction. Stick around, maybe you'll find out what the hell they're doing in a bar in the first place! Next week will be part one of a two-part series, so you can check it out on Monday. In fact, you can check it out every Monday, 'cause that's when I update! Character bios'll be up shortly...
December 18, 2000
Behold my first comic in all of its glory! ...Yeah. Number two will be up in a week, so be sure to check it out. Along with my comics, this site will soon feature my rants and some obscure 8-bit trivia, so keep an eye on the bonus section.